Safety Planning

If you are not ready or able to leave, it's still important to take steps to protect yourself:

• Recognize early warning signs by observing your partner’s behavior and reactions.

• Identify safe areas in your home that have exits and avoid rooms where weapons may be present.

• If violence is unavoidable, try to protect your head and vital organs.

• Keep a phone nearby at all times and know who to call in an emergency.

• Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your situation so they know how to help if needed.

• Plan ahead in case your partner finds out you want to leave.

• Store harmful objects out of reach or in locked areas.

• Keep your car parked for a quick exit and maintain a full gas tank when possible.

Leaving an abusive situation is never easy—but preparing ahead of time can help reduce risks:

• Gather important documents such as birth certificates, Social Security cards, IDs, and medical records.

• Collect and safely store any evidence of abuse, including dates and descriptions of incidents.

• Save money privately, if possible, to support yourself during the transition.

• Reach out to Onslow Victims Center or another shelter to explore your options and support systems.

• Talk with someone you trust—or an advocate—about your plan.

• Know that feelings of fear, guilt, or doubt are normal. You deserve to be safe.

Your safety plan should also include steps to protect your children:

• Teach them how and when to call for help, and identify safe places to go during violence.

• Explain that they should never try to intervene physically.

• Encourage open communication, and help them find supportive people they can talk to.

• If child custody is shared or court-ordered exchanges are necessary, avoid meeting at home.

• Instead, meet in public, well-lit areas with security cameras. Bring a trusted friend if possible.

Pets are family, too—and many survivors hesitate to leave due to fear for their animals' safety:

• Ask friends, family, or your vet about temporary arrangements for your pet.

• Do not leave pets with an abusive partner, if possible.

• Organizations like the Animal Welfare Institute, Red Rover, and Ahimsa House provide pet-friendly safety planning resources.

• Gather veterinary records to establish ownership.

• Reach out to local shelters to ask about emergency housing options that include pets.

This can be an incredibly emotional time, and it's important to consider your mental and emotional needs as part of your safety plan. Your emotional responses are valid, and planning for them can help you navigate this experience with more clarity and support.

Everyone’s support system looks different—there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. What matters is creating a plan that feels right for you. Here are some tips to help protect your emotional well-being:

Seek Out Supportive People

Identify trusted friends, family members, or advocates who can offer comfort and encouragement. A supportive presence can make a meaningful difference during difficult moments.

Set Realistic Goals

Start with small, achievable goals that build your confidence over time. Talk to someone you trust about what’s important to you and move forward at your own pace. You are never obligated to do anything that doesn’t feel safe or right for you.

Create a Calming Space

Find a location—whether indoors or outside—that helps you feel grounded and at peace. This can be your go-to space when you need to reset or recharge.

Remember Your Worth

You are valuable. You are not defined by someone else’s actions. Remind yourself often that you deserve safety, respect, and kindness.

Practice Kindness and Self-Care

Daily self-care—whether it’s rest, journaling, walking, or positive affirmations—can help restore your sense of control. Small acts of kindness, both toward yourself and others, can have a powerful impact on your healing journey.

Leaving an abusive relationship is a brave and difficult step—but it’s not the final one. The time after leaving can bring new challenges, and continuing to follow your safety plan is essential. Being emotionally and physically prepared can help you stay safe, protect your peace, and begin to rebuild your life.

Here are important steps to consider after leaving:

• Keep key information accessible
  
  Have identification, legal documents, emergency contacts, medications, and other essentials safely stored and ready when needed.

• Change your locks and phone number
  
  Take steps to secure your home and communication channels.

• Adjust your routine
  
  Vary your daily habits and routes to make it harder for someone to find or follow you.

• Notify school staff if you have children
  
  Let teachers, counselors, and school administrators know about the situation to help keep your child safe.

• Use a P.O. Box or alternate mailing address
  
  This helps protect your location on official documents such as court papers or police reports.

• Inform trusted neighbors
  
  Let them know about the situation so they can be alert and ready to call for help if needed.

• Consider installing a security system
  
  Additional measures like alarms or cameras can help you feel more secure in your new space.